Many of us say yes to things, even when we want to say no. While saying this two-letter word may seem easy, setting this boundary can actually be quite difficult.
People often give in to requests because they don’t want to disappoint others, feel guilty, or fear confrontation. If you find yourself frequently saying yes when you really want to say no, it may be time to start setting some boundaries. Here are a few tips on how to do just that:
Why Do We Say Yes?
Before you can start saying no, it may be helpful to understand why you say yes in the first place. Do you feel guilty when you turn someone down? Are you a people pleaser? Or, do you simply have trouble saying no?
Identifying the root of your problem can help you figure out how to better deal with requests in the future. A life coach mentor can also help you work through some of these issues.
There is Nothing Wrong With Saying No
Now that you know why you may be having trouble saying no, it’s time to start setting some boundaries. Here are a few tips on how to do just that:
1. Be assertive
When you’re saying no, be firm and direct. This doesn’t mean being rude, but it does mean being clear about your decision. For example, instead of saying, “I don’t know, let me think about it,” try, “No, I’m not interested.”
2. Kindly Disarm
It becomes easier to say no when you kindly disarm them first. For example, by saying that you are flattered and that you appreciate the kind offer, you make it harder for the other person to get offended by your refusal.
3. Offer an Explanation or How You Feel About It
When you’re saying no, it can be helpful to offer an explanation. For example, “No, I can’t help you with that project because I’m already working on something else.”
Some people will try to convince you to do something, even if you have a valid reason. If this happens, it’s important to stand your ground and reiterate your decision.
4. Set a Limit
When you’re saying no, it can be helpful to set a limit. For example, “No, I can’t work overtime tonight, but I can stay an extra hour tomorrow.”
5. Realise You Can’t Please Everyone
At the end of the day, you can’t please everyone. And that’s okay. When you start setting boundaries, you may find that some people don’t like it. But that’s their problem, not yours.
Need Help Saying No?
Saying no is a learned skill. The more you do it, the easier it will become. Just remember to be assertive, offer an explanation if necessary, and be prepared for some pushback. With time and practice, you’ll get the hang of it.
However, if you feel you still need some help, a life mentor may be for you. This type of professional can help you work through your issues and figure out how to better deal with requests in the future. Similarly, they can help you identify and overcome any of the underlying challenges preventing you from setting boundaries
A life coach can also provide support and accountability as you learn how to say no. If this is something you’re interested in, reach out to Ruffle Mentoring today.